Remember that time Boogie peed on me…yeah, that was fun.

OMG! I’m such a jerkface!

I just realized it’s been almost a month since my last blog post and I didn’t even write it! I am le slacker.

Okay, I’m back. And I promise to be better. I have actually written about 4 blogs, or started, just haven’t posted. I’ll work to finish them.

Anyway, we’ve been busy here at Chateau Wiener Dog. We’ve had family in and out of town, Boogie was dedicated at church and it’s going to be 115 degrees here in Phoenix. Good times.

We also purchased a fancy schmancy new camera just in time for the dedication.

If you aren’t familiar with what a dedication is, let me bust some knowledge on you. It’s basically a baptism only for Christians. Consider it a baptism Lite!

It was a great time. My parents were here and of course they showered that little girl with gifts and love. We always have fun with my parents.

So we go to 10:30am service with the families (except Rutherford who had to stay back and make more food because I’m not sure what part of him saying “You’re not making enough, that’s not going to be enough food, and I’ve done this a million times and I’m absolutely positive that you are not making enough food..” that I seem to not understand.)

The actual dedication was at 12. This is PERFECT timing because it’s after church which is usually when we feed the munchkin and the put her down for a nap…so she’s in the best mood when I’m trying to get her to sit still and be quiet for an extra hour.

Not. Happy.

When it was finally time to go up and have our little story and prayer done.

“God gave Audrey to us, turning two people into a family. And for that, we are thankful to Him everyday. She is a beautiful blessing from head to toe. We are better Christians, better partners, better family members and better people because of her.”

It was very sweet but here’s the kicker. Boogie has the worlds best timing. Seriously. When she was a wee little baby, every time I would walk into Scottsdale (affectionately known as “Snottsdale”) Fashion Square, this kid would crap all over her, me, the stroller and anyone in a 5 foot radius.

Not. Kidding.

And if you know anything about the Scottsdale area, you know that it is NOT known as “family friendly.” So just try to find a family bathroom, wipes, a hose, anything! I dare you.

So there we are, all cute and family like on stage, in the spotlight and I feel it.

She started to pee on me. Down my hands, down her legs, the front of my dress. Luckily, she had her woobie with her which, as you can see, I shoved under her butt and added a little extra on to the prayer. “Lord bless my child and please don’t let me look down to see the front of my dress covered in her pee. Amen,”

We finished up and I darted off stage to get her changed just in time to miss the ending and most important part of the prayer, the parents prayer.

Le sigh.

The rest of the day went much better…after nap time.


Cousin Kyle

Cousin Lukey

Anyone out there have an embarrassing story about your kids? Let me know in the comments. It will make me feel better. :)


  1. Haha! That is the perfect story to tell future love interests of hers. So sweet.

  2. I have been wanting to read this just because of the great title ever since you posted; finally took the time today. It was soooooo worth the wait! Hahaha! You are a natural and hilarious storyteller. I love the way you set the scene, I always feel like I'm right there. I was laughing through you not hearing that there really wasn't enough food, "Snottsdale", and of course the crowning glory of the "pee pee"! I would say I'm so sorry that happened, except then we wouldn't have this great blog fodder!

    I have lots of stories that consist of gross, messy, inconvenient and semi-pulbic displays of babyness.

    One was with a very seriously ill baby (who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) who was projectile vomiting on a regular basis. We were at the docs, had gone across town, in the heat, with no AC and in a brand new city. Docs office was old and smelly and green vinylish. As the nurse was moving us from one exam area to another Mt. Vesuvius erupted. I was moving along pretty quickly and trying to catch it all with my hand. How does a child throw up 5 gallons of sour milk when they've only eaten 4 ozs.? We left a trail of cottage cheese and fluid in two exam rooms and the main hall. That was AFTER I caught most of it on my shirt, my bra, my belly button, and my baby's entire body. I had NO extra clothes for either of us. I was emotional, worried, embarrassed, young, and now slathered in motherhood of the gnarliest kind. Note to self Mama – be prepared for anything.

    Love you guys! Keep writing!

  3. Jax was 4 months old when he was baptised. He hadn't pooped in 4 days. He was wearing a handmade raw silk romper that I had made from a woman in England. I put two diapers on him and PRAYED.

    The prayer worked. An hour after I got him homme and changed, the poop came. It was a two mommy job. Portia held him while I hosed him down.

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