So apparently today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day! Who knew such a thing existed?
Apparently Audrey, that’s who. Only she was a few days early to the party because this incident happened on Monday and I knew I had to write about it.
I have a disease called procrastination. I can’t help it. If you would like to donate to my charity (title TBD at a later date), I would greatly appreciate it. But I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for the Thank You note.
Audrey is getting to that age where you don’t know what is going to come out of her mouth. The age where she recognizes everything, asks a million questions, completely unfiltered. It’s lead to some interesting (ie. awkward) conversations about things such as my bathroom activites and the status of my nether regions. So I knew it was a matter of time before I had to address one of these curveballs in public.
On Monday we were at the grocery store picking over some produce and I hear Audrey yell, “PIRATE!!! GRRRR!!!!”
Not knowing what the hell she was talking about I look over to see a man standing very close to us with an eye patch.
Like an i’m-not-being-cutsie-or-humorously-costumie-but-I-actually-have-some-sort-of-eye-issue eyepatch.
That’s when I booked it out of the area saying things like “Hey! How about some cheese! You want some cheese?! Ooh look at all the CHEESE!!”
And just in case you were wondering, no, I’m not certain he heard her although we were very close so he probably did. He didn’t look like a very happy pirate so I didn’t stick around to find out.
Pirates can be grumpy in that way, I guess.
Other happenings on this grocery store trip included her telling everyone she came across in the store that she has Pull Ups because she goes peepee on the big potty and her calling the ice cream aisle “daddy”.
In the future I will be more aware of my surroundings.