Remember that time Boogie peed on me…yeah, that was fun.

OMG! I’m such a jerkface!

I just realized it’s been almost a month since my last blog post and I didn’t even write it! I am le slacker.

Okay, I’m back. And I promise to be better. I have actually written about 4 blogs, or started, just haven’t posted. I’ll work to finish them.

Anyway, we’ve been busy here at Chateau Wiener Dog. We’ve had family in and out of town, Boogie was dedicated at church and it’s going to be 115 degrees here in Phoenix. Good times.

We also purchased a fancy schmancy new camera just in time for the dedication.

If you aren’t familiar with what a dedication is, let me bust some knowledge on you. It’s basically a baptism only for Christians. Consider it a baptism Lite!

It was a great time. My parents were here and of course they showered that little girl with gifts and love. We always have fun with my parents.

So we go to 10:30am service with the families (except Rutherford who had to stay back and make more food because I’m not sure what part of him saying “You’re not making enough, that’s not going to be enough food, and I’ve done this a million times and I’m absolutely positive that you are not making enough food..” that I seem to not understand.)

The actual dedication was at 12. This is PERFECT timing because it’s after church which is usually when we feed the munchkin and the put her down for a nap…so she’s in the best mood when I’m trying to get her to sit still and be quiet for an extra hour.

Not. Happy.

When it was finally time to go up and have our little story and prayer done.

“God gave Audrey to us, turning two people into a family. And for that, we are thankful to Him everyday. She is a beautiful blessing from head to toe. We are better Christians, better partners, better family members and better people because of her.”
 

It was very sweet but here’s the kicker. Boogie has the worlds best timing. Seriously. When she was a wee little baby, every time I would walk into Scottsdale (affectionately known as “Snottsdale”) Fashion Square, this kid would crap all over her, me, the stroller and anyone in a 5 foot radius.

Not. Kidding.

And if you know anything about the Scottsdale area, you know that it is NOT known as “family friendly.” So just try to find a family bathroom, wipes, a hose, anything! I dare you.

So there we are, all cute and family like on stage, in the spotlight and I feel it.

She started to pee on me. Down my hands, down her legs, the front of my dress. Luckily, she had her woobie with her which, as you can see, I shoved under her butt and added a little extra on to the prayer. “Lord bless my child and please don’t let me look down to see the front of my dress covered in her pee. Amen,”

We finished up and I darted off stage to get her changed just in time to miss the ending and most important part of the prayer, the parents prayer.

Le sigh.

The rest of the day went much better…after nap time.

Papa

Cousin Kyle

Cousin Lukey

Anyone out there have an embarrassing story about your kids? Let me know in the comments. It will make me feel better. :)

An open letter to my mother on Mother’s Day.

Dear Mom,

I forgot to mail your Mother’s Day card.

*face palm*

Well actually, I forgot to BUY your Mother’s Day card which would make it almost impossible to mail it so forgetting to mail it kinda sorta makes sense.

So as much as I would like to SAY it was my brilliant idea all along to just do an “Ode to my Mama” post….it wasn’t.

And even though Rutherford laughed and smiled when I told him what I was going to do, I’m sure he was thinking I was a forgetful jerkface.

Regardless, let’s just pretend this was my idea all along, shall we?

(This is going to be better than a stupid generic Hallmark card anyway.)

Boogie is getting so big. She’s pretty much running all over the house and no wiener dog is safe. By the end of the day I’m exhausted and counting the minutes till the glorious BEDTIME has arrived.

I don’t know how you did it.

The other day I cleaned my house, planned dinner for the week, went to the grocery store with baby to get supplies for dinner, brought her home, made dinner, left her with Rutherford to go BACK to the grocery store to do all the rest of the shopping for the week, came home and ate dinner (your pork chop recipe), then went BACK to the grocery store because I forgot the toothbrushes….you can see where this is going.

This was one day.

With one kid.

You had FIVE.

And I can count the number of times we had takeout or leftovers on one hand.

??

Most importantly, I never felt ignored, unappreciated or unloved.

You introduced me to purple eyeshadow, you played dress up with me in your closet, you put flowers in my hair for church, you taught me how to play backgammon, you let me drive when Dad wouldn’t.. :)

You took on 2 ungrateful brats and gave birth to 3 of the most amazing people I know.

You cooked, you cleaned, you diapered, you home schooled, disciplined, coddled, you taught, lead by example, played, laughed, put up with Dad, wiped butts, noses and hands…. You raised a family.

I could have done without the standing in the corner part. But that’s just me.

Between slamming doors, pouting and generally being a pain in the ass, I’m pretty sure I didn’t say ‘Thank You’ enough when I was a kid, so I’ll say it now…

Thank you.

God gave me two mother’s but only one Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day, tell Dad to rub your feet, you deserve it.

If I were you, I’d start with food and move up from there.

Grandma, this is Boogie. Boogie, this is Grandma.
 
*Mother’s Day cards by Aunt Becky at MommyWantsVodka.com