It’s Mommalogue time again and this time it’s a doozy…

This is what happens when you take you kid to work at SheKnows.com. They decorate her.

Am I the only one who has a Holiday Hangover? I’m tired, my family is gone so i’m lonely and I took all my decorations down so my house is so ‘uncheery’.

Christmas Day 2011

I hate January. On top of the HH, all I can think about is doing my taxes. I’m a lot of fun, can you tell?

December came and went with a flash, especially since we have a toddler running around. Just keeping the tree intact was a feat in of itself. Presents, wrapping papers…it was all a red and green blur.

I learned something of myself, and please tell me if you are like this too, but I am ANNOYING when I have guests. I can fully admit this, I am big enough of a woman.

I can’t tell you how many times I shusshed people for talking too loud (I come from the worlds LOUDEST family AND I have all wood floors in a house that loves to echo) when the baby was napping and graned every time people ate (I also come from the worlds MESSIEST family).

I’m surprised people keep something back to visit us. I need to drink more and relax. It’s just crumbs and the kid can sleep through an air raid drill. What exactly is my major malfunction?

Well, like I said, the holidays are over and on to prepare for 2012.

Apparently it’s the end of the world. Let’s all start hoarding ammo and bottled water.

There are some bat shit crazy people out there who believe this crap. Am I afraid? Yes. But I am afraid of them. I told Rutherford that we are not leaving our house that entire week.

He told me that he doesn’t think that anyone is going to come into our little lake community with perfectly manicured lawns and SUV’s in the driveway.

Hey you never know, right? The ducks could go nuts or the soccer mom down the road could sudden fall off her nut.

It could happen you know.

If you need ammo or bottled water, you know where to look.

The other big news here in the Yontz house is that Audrey is deep in the throws of the terrible twos. Fun. The other day I had my first major public meltdown and I started drinking again. (Okay, well I never stopped drinking but you know what I mean.)

Audrey took out an entire display of shoes at Sketchers while screaming NO NO NO.

All I could think is that if I can’t handle this kid at 2 I am royally effed in 10 years.

And I cried.

Like really cried and my lovely husband told me not to freak out becasue if I freak out, he’s going to freak out and that doesn’t help anyone involved. He also told me that i’m a great mom and reassured me that we’re not going to end up on Dr.Phil one day.

I was finally able to breath again and regroup. I bought a back yard climber on Craigslist and now I toss her outside to run around to her little hearts content and now so too tired to terrorize me.

Problem solved…so far.

We’ve also had a big week on the Mommalogues. We got ourselves a real live celebrity ya’ll.

Miss DJ Tanner herself, Candace Cameron Bure is now on the Mommalogue panel. She will be posting 3 times a week on all the things we chat about.

And am I the only one who still thinks her brother is dreamy? I want to ask if I can go over to play at her house after school so I can bump into him in the kitchen.

And now our weekly wrap-up:

On Monday we talked about what we are looking forward to the most in 2012. Well, besides baracading myself into my house while harding ammo and bottled water, I am looking forward to an addition to my family. Watch my video and see exactly what I’m talking about HERE.

Tuesday we talked education for our kids. Audrey is almost 2 and already I am getting asked about what school she’s wait listed at and all that goes along with that. Really? She’s 2 people. But since people are asking, of course I start panicing. So now it’s schools, tuition, private vs. public, uniforms, 2 days a week, 3 days a week… my head is spinning. Was it always this difficult? Remember when the school closest to your house was where you were going? What happened to that? I need a drink. Watch this video HERE.

Wednesday we talked about every woman’s passion. Shoes. I love shoes, I really do. I mean, come on, I’m a girl right? It’s part of the job requirement. However, you wouldn’t know that I am such a shoe freak if you actually saw my feet at any given time. I’m either barefooted, in old Havayana flip flops or in running shoes. Apparently I just like to buy nice shoes to look at them, not to actually put on my feet. The problem is that I own tons of heels. Heels that I no longer wear because they A) make me taller than my husband and B) my current boss (aka Audrey) doesn’t require them to go with my uniform. So until he either grows or she changes the workplace dress code, the heels will stay in the closet. See this HERE.
Thursday, we’re talking hot topic alert. Breast feeding. For some reason the interwebs go balistic when you talk about this. I was actually a little nervous before this topic when life on the site. Was I going to be getting hate mail and death threats from “those moms”? So far, so good. Watch my video HERE and tell me what you think. Am I wrong? I can take it. 
On Friday we were asked what we thought the hardest part about being a mom was. Um, have a seat, this might take awhile. The hardest part about being a mom, for me, isn’t the day-to-day parenting. It was figuring out how to be a parent. The how, when, where, and why of being a mom is the part that still exhausts me. You would think it would be the day-to-day actual “doing” in parenting that would be the hard part. But in reality it was learning how to “do” to begin with that drained me the most. Maybe that’s why the 2nd child is supposed to be easier than the first. Or at lease that’s what I hear. I’ll let you know when I get there. Watch HERE.
So there you have it. What do you think of this weeks topics and answers? How are you planning on dealing with all the crazy asses in the world this year? Do we bother paying our taxes since the world is going to end. Do you think the IRS will take that as an answer? 


Mommalogues Weekly Round-up!

Ahh another week has past and that leaves us with another week of the Mommalogues! So let’s get to it…

On Monday we tackled the idea of gift giving. Specifically, gift giving to me and how important it is for me to get the perfect gift. As you will see, I am all heart, I just want my family to be happy blah blah blah at Christmas time. But Mother’s Day… Now that’s where I get my jollies. Don’t you screw up my Mother’s Day.

Watch you warning HERE.

Tuesday was all about the cookie. Now my mother-in-law is like a cookie sensi, cookie master or cookie ninja, if you will. Find out why I am so fat HERE.

Wednesday we strolled down memory lane and talked about what was the best thing that happened to us in 2011. For me it was finally making an honest man out of Rutherford. I am no longer getting the milk for free, living in sin, or shacking up. On top of that I will always remember 2011 as the year my baby went for a baby to a toddler. ::mommy tear:: See it HERE.

On Thursday, ugh, we talked about the worst thing that has happened to us in 2011. Now, we are very blessed and can’t really complain about anything this year (unlike a lot of people, thank you God). But if I have to pick out one thing I could have lived without, it would be wrecking Rutherfords car. And a friends brand new Lexus. In my driveway. At the same time.

Feel my humiliation HERE with me.

And on Friday we were asked what our kids wanted for Christmas. I answered for Audrey, I hope she doesn’t mind. Watch her video HERE.

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas. I know we did here. Love you all!

Let’s catch-up with the Mommalogues!!

Okay so I’m a little behind on my posts. Between showing you how awesome Beauty Society is and picking a winner for my ErinCondren.com contest (Congrats Bobbie!), it’s been kinda crazy.

But worry not, dear soul, for I am here to spread my particular brand of joy and drivel.

On Tuesday we talked about TV and kids. In my video I go from one extreme to the other and come to the realization at the end that my husband will kill me when he sees how much TV our child actually watches.

But I swear, it’s really not that much, right? Watch HERE.

On Wednesday we gave our birth stories. Mine was glorious and fabulous, mostly because they give you some kick ass drugs in the hospital. I don’t know why more people don’t give birth more often.

Watch me recount the story of my brief foray into the world of Michael Jackson HERE.

On Thursday we discussed pregnancy cravings, of which mine were notorious in the Yontz family. I still can’t look at a box of Lucky Charms the same again. Find out why HERE.

And last, but certainly not least, we have Friday where we discussed our favorite Christmas gift we ever received. Awww….Watch HERE.

Yeah! Now you’re all caught up. Now don’t we all feel better?

We’re talking about giving back on today’s Mommalogues

Teaching your kids that the holidays are about giving AND receiving is a tough thing to do but oh so important.

As a family we have tried so hard to give back to our community, our church and where ever else we can.

I truly believe that Audrey will grow to be a charitable person because she sees it in us.

Watch today’s video and find out how we give back and why…and watch my kid get on my last nerve.

Watch HERE.

Today’s Mommalogue is about unanswered prayers…

Today we get a little personal on the Mommalogues. The question was about how we told our spouses that we were pregnant.

I get real here and I didn’t sugar coat the truth. It’s actually one of my favorite stories to tell.

Things don’t always happen how and when you think they should. But if i’ve learned anything over the past few years it’s that God had a plan for my life and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Watch my video HERE and find out why I love my husband as much as I do.

Today’s Embarrassing Mommalogue…

Today we are talking about our most embarrassing mom moments…

Well, considering Audrey is just starting to talk, I know this is just the beginning.

Sigh…

Check out my video HERE and watch the other ladies, as well.

Might make you feel better about your kids. But just so we won’t feel so bad, comment and let me know what your most embarrassing mom moment was!

Today’s Mommalogue!

So today we’re talking about reading.

We read a lot in our house. It’s not always what I would choose but hey, I want to know where the damn fish is too, so I go with it.

Watch my video and let me know what you think.

We have a special guest in this one. Audrey makes an appearance…then a disappearance…then an appearance again.

This must be why they say not to work with kids or animals. Will I ever learn?

Watch today’s video HERE.

Today’s Mommalogue!

So I love my kid, like REALLY love my kid.

However….

When I think awesome kick-ass vacation, my thoughts go more towards colorful drinks with fruit sticking out and, ahem, having my handsome husband to myself.

Does that make me a bad mom?

But….

If we are taking Audrey, we plan on geeking out. I hope she likes museums.

Check out today’s Mommalogue on SheKnows.com and find out why I will never be voted Mother of the Year.

Watch my video HERE.

Thanksgiving and in-laws…

It’s Tuesday? Holy crap, when did that happen?

So I missed yesterday, and here is what you missed on the Mommalogues. Yesterday we talked about Thanksgiving.

More accurately, what I will and won’t be eating this Thanksgiving. Check it out….no seriously. You will get a clear definition of TMI. Yeah, I know. But watch it HERE anyway.

And today we are talking about grandparents. What would we do without them?

My kid has 2 sets of loving, devoted and doting grandparents.

In today’s video, I introduce you to Momo, Grandma Extraordinaire.

Watch my video with a special cameo by Momo HERE.

Mommalogues and tattoos!

Today’s Mommalogue is about tattoos.

Ugh.

Yes, I have them..4 to be exact.

Watch my vlog HERE and see exactly what I think of them and what I’m hoping Audrey will do in the future. Hint: NO TATTOOS!

Do you have tattoos? Will you let your kid get one? Do we even have a choice?