Learning to Love ALL of Me

Learning to Love ALL of Me

I had an epiphany today as I got in to the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I tilted my head and looked at the jiggly and the wiggly and the wasn’t-there-three-years-ago. I counted the stretch marks and frowned at the dimples. My chin has a companion.

I am 16 pounds over weight and it has been my cage.

I call it the Khloe Kardashian Effect. 

Have you ever seen Khloe without her sisters? She looks normal. Fit and curvy. But then put her next to her abnormally tiny siblings and she’s an ogre.

I married into a family of darling, sweetly itty bitty, cutie-pie petite blond people. If you have ever seen a photo of me and the family, take notice that I will always be strategically sitting or in the back.

I am the Khloe.

I’ll have you know, I am the farthest thing from lazy and I don’t over eat. I simply enjoy my life.

I know exactly how I gained every pound. Some came from having dinner with some of my favorite moms. Some from celebrating birthdays and family with cake. Others came from learning how to cook and exploring the awesomeness of butter. I can also guarantee some has come from wine and conversation on the patio with my favorite man.

A good portion has come from creating the most precious thing God has ever given me. And some has come from losing another.

I am 16 pounds over weight and every pound has come from a place of joy.

Would I trade skinny for any of these events? Never.

I am not giving up, throwing the towel on losing it or surrendering the fight, I am just done loathing myself for having it to begin with.

I will never be a size two again. I will never fit into those jeans I have hanging in my closet for “inspiration”.

I have decided to love myself (and the belly button I no longer recognize) because I want to be a role model for my daughter. I want her own inner dialogue to be filled with words of praise and beauty. How could I teach her to love what she sees in the mirror if I don’t.

I’ll be damned if I ever hear her say she thinks she’s fat.

So from today on I will be healthy, I will continue to make good food choices, I will keep taking that class at the gym that kicks my ass and makes me walk funny for a week.

I will embrace the more of me there is to love. I will wrap my pudgy arms around my husband who thinks I am sexy.

I will stop looking at every extra pound as a failure and start looking at them as physical manifestations of some of the best times of my life.

And I will have a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate with a big fat smile on my face.

Now I want to hear from you…What happy wonderful ways did you get your pounds?

 

Happy. Life.